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NEWS

Each month I will keep a running list of news items, including info on my schedule, etc. It's in order from LATEST entry at the top on down to the OLDEST entry at the bottom. 

Here are the "News" archives, feel free to browse them for some interesting tidbits:

***This is the archive of the June  2003 news***

30 June 2003

Tomorrow is a public holiday in Hong Kong -- July 1st is the anniversary of the 1997 handover from British colonial rule to Beijing -- so most people will get the day off to celebrate 6 allegedly successful years of "one country, two systems." But there won't be too much "celebrating" going on. 

You see, the Natives are restless. They are REAL restless...

Let me fill you in on a secret that most of the world may not know -- the people of HK are NOT happy right now. There is a real tension building, and most of my friends are getting surprisingly vocal about their dissatisfaction.   

So instead of people singing the praises of Uncle China tomorrow, there will be a demonstration -- a protest march, specifically -- going all the way from Victoria Park to the government headquarters in Central. 

There will be a LOT of people there -- including ME and most of the people from our churches. This promises to be a historic day in HK, so I wouldn't miss it, frankly. Several people have told me that "HK hasn't seen this type of feeling since '89" -- meaning the aftermath of the so-called Tiananmen Incident. But I get the feeling (and some have said as much) that THIS time around there's more ANGER, because the "problem" isn't a continent away -- it's right here in HK. 

(At least one person told me she is pretty nervous about tomorrow, sort of a "who knows if people will get too upset?" kind of thing. But that seems pretty silly to me, I very seriously doubt there will be anything to see other than a lot of sweaty Chinese people -- well, and at least one sweaty white guy).  

Anyway, all the current fuss seems to sprout from anger at "da gubment" (as we call it where I come from). I guess folks were already pretty put out with the alleged ineffectual performance of the people in charge, but the SARS crisis and Article 23 are the straws that have broken the dragon's back (they don't have camels in HK, just dragons).

"What is Article 23?" you ask... Good question -- but instead of me spoon feeding you everything, why don't you get on the internet and look it up yourself, you lazy bums!

(Just kidding, heh heh)... 

Article 23 is part of the Basic Law of HK, the laws that are in effect since the handover in 1997. Article 23 specifically relates to issues of national security and treason. "Hey, HK gotta keep out terrorists, too, yo!!!" Except if you know even one thing about Chinese history, you know that most of the time the "enemy" is some poor sap using the internet to read the news at CNN.com... (few things as dangerous to a thousands-of-years-old culture as western reporting, you know). 

So people in HK are a little uneasy about laws suddenly coming into being that give da gubment the right to outlaw all kinds of groups and speech in the name of "national security" -- especially provisions that might, by some suggestions, give BEIJING the right to outlaw groups and speech here in HK. Also included are what some consider to be the mechanisms by which even religious freedoms could easily be taken away (thus the involvement of many churches in tomorrow's demonstration).

Okay, so whatever, I'm seriously not about to try and talk about all that stuff (I really HATE politics), but the POINT is that Article 23 is mandatory, there's really no choice in the matter as to whether national security legislation will be enacted -- the only QUESTION is when, and what it will specifically contain. And herein is the rub. No one who knows squat about this is trying to say, "Don't pass the legislation" -- they are just saying, "Why are you rushing this through without listening to the people?!?" People are asking questions like, "What's the rush? Is there something you're trying to blow past us here?!?"

And after what happened during the SARS crisis, when many felt da gubment stood by and let things deteriorate before taking real action, there seems to be a growing sense that there's something fishy in, er, Hong Kong... And people don't like that. 

So, tomorrow will see HUGE crowds, I'm sure of it. I don't know of a SINGLE PERSON who I asked, "What are you doing on the 1st?" that didn't say, "I'm going to the demonstration!" Let me put it this way, I've had people call me who I haven't talked to for MONTHS -- but they wanted to know if I had someone to go with, and if I wanted to go with them. THAT's how big this is gonna be. 

The march is scheduled to start at 3pm on Tuesday, HK time -- which is 3am on Tuesday, New York time. If you are reading this in time, please PRAY about it. 

29 June 2003

Sorry for my "venting" episode from yesterday (see below). I momentarily, just now, considered erasing it -- NOT because it's not true (because, oh, yes, Virginia, it's totally true). And not only is the STORY true (the "what happened" part), but the expression of my FEELINGS is true, too. So it's all totally true. But I just wondered there, for just a second, if maybe it makes me look like a jerk to moan about it. 

Hmmmm...

Okay, I just made a decision. It DOES make me look like a jerk a little bit, I've decided. But I won't erase it, since it's true. 

. . .

Just some miscellaneous comments/observations from recent days:

Okay, I'm REALLY tired. Bye...

28 June 2003

[Alright, VENTING of FRUSTRATIONS to BEGIN in 3... 2... 1... GO!]

I "discovered" using the internet for making phone calls a while back. Basically, I use my computer to call your phone. It's great when it works, which is to point out that it doesn't always work... But it's great when it DOES work, and it's fairly cheap, too, about 5 cents per minute to the USA. 

When I first signed up for this, I chose a company based only on the fact that it was one of the 4 or 5 companies listed in MSN Messenger's services. I've never done this before, so how could I know which one to choose? But I chose a company called Primus Talk, mainly because they were the first company listed, AND because they had a great promotional thing going, whereby if you signed up for their service they would initially give you 200 minutes of FREE calling time. Sounded like a good deal (better than the other companies), so I went for it, and like I say, when I've needed to use it, the service has (mostly) been quite good. After almost two years in HK, I finally have a way to call home. 

However, if you are ever interested in this kind of thing, let me suggest something:

DON'T USE PRIMUS TALK. 

Maybe you didn't catch that, so I'd better say it again:

DO
**NOT**
USE
PRIMUS
TALK

They basically "stole" 90 minutes of my "free" time. They showed a 90 minute call being made back in May, which was obviously NOT a real call. I mean, dude, the call was EXACTLY 90 minutes and ZERO seconds!! Obviously this was a mistake. 

So, thinking (at that time) that this is a reasonable complaint, I e-mailed their customer service to ask about it. Not really "demanding" anything or being a jerk, you can imagine -- just saying, "Hey, this is not correct, and in fact it seems weird and suspicious, can you check this out for me?"... that kind of thing. 

I didn't hear from them. So about a month later, I e-mailed again. Then a week later or so, I e-mailed AGAIN. By this time, I'm like, geez, give me a break -- three e-mails in six weeks, and you can't even RESPOND?!? 

So FINALLY they answer to say, "We've escalated this matter and will check into it" -- I'm like, "ESCALATED"?!??!? Is that Enron-speak for "our accountants are all over that issue"?!? 

But whatever, at least I knew someone was finally looking at it, right? 

Okay, so NOW, literally SEVEN WEEKS after my initial e-mail, they have sent me this message:

Forget the fact that it took 7 weeks for them to even respond. 

Forget the fact that they offer no EXPLANATION whatsoever.

Forget the fact that I very, VERY seriously doubt that "decremented" is a real word. 

Forget the fact that he says he LIKES informing me of this.

I can look past ALL those things. But the FACT is that their system messed up, and they charged me for 90 minutes which I didn't use. And the ONLY perspective possible by "yours truly" is that they are CROOKS. 

Uh... but I'm not "judging" them... right?... I still "love" the sinners, I just hate their sin...

(ha ha... ha.... moan)...

[Okay, END of VENTING]

26 June 2003

Just sittin' here, sweatin'... That's all...

. . .

My friend, Sam, told me this joke about Singlish (Singapore English), but I decided to adapt it slightly to fit Hong Kong Engrish, too:

You may not think that's such a funny joke -- but all I can say is, "If you only knew!"...

24 June 2003

The rain has stopped, but is that really so great? It's just me complaining more about the HK weather -- "the weather you love to hate" -- but what gets me is how when it's raining it's a drag because you WILL get soaked. Period. Only a scuba suit would keep you dry when you have to stand out on the street like an idiot waiting for a bus. 

But then again, at least when it's raining the sun isn't shining. You know -- the sun? The large celestial orb which derives it's heat from powerful fission reactions -- heat so great that life on this whole planet is sustained by it, scientifically-speaking? You know the one. 

So, yeah, when I was walking to school this morning, at about 7:20am, and it was already about 85 degrees and 1000 percent humidity, and as the sun was boring a literal hole in the back of my stupid neck with it's ultraviolet violence, I was realizing how a nice little drizzle and some sun-blocking clouds would do me some good. 

The POSITIVE side of this is that they have FINALLY -- and I express my deepest, most heart-felt gratitude for this -- but they have FINALLY started using the air conditioners again at school. This is mostly a GREAT thing -- a thing that I shouldn't have to thank them for, since from my sweaty perspective we should have had them on for months. 

On the OTHER hand, I haven't yet received an actual envelope with my invitation to get sick, but I'm sure they've mailed one to me. Because that's what working at our school is during the summer -- an invitation to get sick. You just can't go back and forth, over and over, from 90 degree, Asian, sub-tropical heat to 60 degree rooms all day without getting sick. 

(I just can't be satisfied, can I?)

Well, NO, I can't. Because I am uncomfortable, that's why. I woke up last night about 3:30am, maybe 4, just literally SOAKED in sweat, and I had two air conditioners running at the time!!! And when I say soaked, I mean it's like I had been swimming. I don't know what I had been dreaming that made me go nuts, but geez, give me a break. 

Okay, yeah... so then I always get guilty (and I don't mean "bad" guilty but the almost-good "convicted" kind of guilty), but I get guilty when I remember old Apostle Paul -- you 'member him? -- but I 'member him telling us about how he had learned to be content whatever his circumstances. I ought to be more like ole Paul, don't you think?!?

. . .

My friend, Eric, was telling me that my post from yesterday about "All My Ex's Live In Texas" (see below) made him think of a country music superstar, and DANG, I've already forgotten which one, but anyway, seems this singer's step-mom divorced his dad and then HE (the singer) married her... Seriously, the guy married his own step-mom! 

So Eric's brother, Kevin, started calling this singer "Oedipus Tex" -- which is making me laugh RIGHT NOW... 

But then THAT made ME think of this lady I used to see all the time near the place where I worked before I came to HK. 

There was this woman, see, who we would always see out walking her dog. I mean, this was NOT a woman with a job, because I swear she would be out there walking that dog all hours of the day. 

Anyway, there was nothing particularly remarkable about this woman (except for her ubiquity). She was Caucasian, 30-something, plain-looking, I'd say, definitely a smoker -- you could tell that, you know what I mean. So, yeah, for Southern Indiana she was pretty common material. 

But then someone opened a tanning salon on the street where she was always walking that dog. 

We never knew the circumstances EXACTLY, but it was soon to become clear, to even the most casual observer, that this woman liked going to the tanning bed. 

She liked it a LOT.

I remember the first few months when she started, and she was completely ORANGE, I'm talking like CARROT orange, right? And it was weird how one day a bunch of us were going to lunch and we passed her walking that dog, and someone said, "Has anyone noticed how that lady is turning orange?" and of course we'd ALL seen her, and we'd ALL noticed it... 

So that was the first sign that something was up with this chick and the tanning thing. 

But what slowly unfolded before us, over about a two year period, was really a modern tragedy. And I don't want you to think that I'm making fun of this lady, because I'm NOT, it really is tragic. Maybe not "Titanic" tragic -- I mean, like, it's not "Hindenburg" tragic, or "Elephant Man" tragic -- but it's definitely "After School Special" tragic. 

This woman, for whatever reason, became obsessed with being tanned. I can only guess at how often she went to the tanning bed, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was almost every day. For two years. Every. Day. 

Let me ask you something. Do you know what going to the tanning bed every day does to your skin?!? Well, it don't HELP it any, trust me. Or better yet, trust HER... She went from a normal white-skinned woman to an ebony, leather-skinned beast. The change cannot really be expressed with words, though I would like to now ask my friends from my old job to send me their thoughts (if any) when they read this -- maybe they will have some way of communicating the transformation better than I can. 

But her skin shriveled up like... well, it was like beef jerky. Imagine a formerly white woman, with hair dyed silver (which she obviously did to accentuate her new, darker skin tone), but imagine her walking around on a couple of Slim Jim beef snacks for legs, and that's what she looked like. I haven't had a Slim Jim for a while, but imagine a Slim Jim the size of a woman's leg -- and imagine a sort of varicose vein thing going on there, too... I think Slim Jim's sort of have that marbling effect, right? And imagine her face going from a normal woman's face, and turning into Willie Nelson -- but an African-American Willie Nelson, without his dentures, wearing a silver mullet wig. 

(Wow, I totally just described this girl, that's weird). 

ANYWAY, I tell you all this, and about her tragic transformation, because I was the one who christened her, "Tanorexic"... You see, just like an anorexic person can look in the mirror and, despite having bones sticking out of her chest, she can still say, "Oh, no! I'm still too fat!" -- well, in the SAME WAY, this girl was obviously looking in the mirror and, despite having become as dark (and supple) as tree bark, she could still say, "Oh, no! I'm still too pale!"

But I was proud of that one -- "Tanorexic"...

. . .

The more observant among you (you know who you are) may have noticed that I still haven't given you any of the updates I have been hinting at. I'm still in "stalling mode" until I really have time to do a number. 

Just wanted you to know. 

23 June 2003

I was sitting there, on the bus, singing the song "All My Ex's Live In Texas" in my head -- and I just thought I'd better throw on the brakes, back up, and figure out why in the WORLD I was singing that song:

I remembered that I started singing that song because I had been thinking about Hank Williams, Jr., and all his shenanigans. 

And I had been thinking about Hank Williams, Jr. because I had been thinking about Hank Williams, Sr., and his greatest hits, especially "Kaw-Liga" (I always think that song is secretly about me). 

And I had been thinking about Hank Williams, Sr. (and poor old Kaw-Liga) because I had been thinking about guy singers, and how I had written a few weeks ago on this website about feeling "wistful" and all, and I remembered saying somewhere in there how "I don't even like guy singers" and I was thinking about why I said that. 

Well, and what made me remember saying that I didn't like guy singers was that I had been thinking about Pete Yorn (who is obviously a guy singer). 

And I had been thinking about Pete Yorn because I had just bought his new CD earlier that day, and I was thinking how I couldn't wait to get home and check it out. 

And I had been thinking about that new Pete Yorn CD that I had bought (and how I couldn't wait to check it out) because I had just gotten out my little MP3 player I carry with me, and I was thinking how I was glad I had that little thing, but "it's too bad I can't listen to the new CD right now"... you know?

But I had gotten the MP3 player out because the guy in front of me on the bus had just gotten up and moved. And I was thinking about that, and how it seemed like he had moved because I had coughed two times -- not really "coughed" but more of a "minor, inconsequential throat clearing" -- and I was thinking about how that guy was over-reacting, SARS or no SARS.

And I was thinking about this guy moving-and-overreacting because, at the same time he was moving, I had just been noticing these two REALLY cute girls sitting across the aisle from me.

Okay, so, let's see... Yeah, I had been noticing those girls, because right BEFORE noticing them, I was thinking about how FAT and stupid and ugly I was feeling, and I know that sounds like a girly thing to think, but it wasn't all vain and "are my hips too big?" but it was more like an angry guy thing to think, more like, "God in Heaven, why did you have to make me (thine servant) so uglyeth?!?"

And I had been thinking how ugly and dumb I was because I felt really FULL -- one might use the word "stuffed" to describe the feeling -- but however you call it I was very satisfied from this great meal I had just had before I got on the bus. 

Hmmm... And I had been thinking about that good meal because ANOTHER guy had just coughed, and that had made me think of SARS, and how the whole six weeks we had off from school because of SARS was full of me having to go to restaurants since I couldn't eat lunch at school every day like normal. 

And I'm pretty sure I had been also thinking about SARS (and that OTHER guy coughing) because we had all been waiting in the rain for the bus at the bus stop, and I had been thinking how surely if SARS didn't get us, waiting in the rain for a stupid bus WOULD...

And I had been thinking about waiting for the bus in the rain because I didn't have my "real" umbrella with me, just the little "stowaway" one I have, which is broken, and I had been thinking about how worthless that thing was because it didn't keep me dry at all (being broken and all), but then it STILL was soaking wet, so it's like the stupid umbrella just made the wetness WORSE by 1) not keeping me dry while in the rain, and then 2) making me MORE wet (by dripping) once I got OUT of the rain.

Uh... and I had been thinking about the wetness being worse with that dumb umbrella because I had been thinking about how back before I got to the bus stop I had gone to St. Alp's Teahouse for lunch, and how I had forgotten and left my umbrella on the floor in there. I had been thinking, in fact, of how funny it was that just as I turned around to go back and get the dumb umbrella, out comes the girl running from the restaurant, "Oh, sir, you forgot your umbrella."

And I had been thinking about St. Alp's Teahouse because (again) it was a GREAT lunch, and I was so thankful I could eat at a cool place like that. 

Yeah... And what had made me think of that cool lunch in the FIRST place was that the guy in front of me on the bus (the guy who eventually moved after I allegedly coughed) had just let out a HUGE belch -- a real STINKER -- and it had made me wonder what did HE have for lunch. 

And that's as far back as I could trace my thoughts. 

Let's recap, shall we?:
[FIRST, guy in front of me on bus belches] 
-- makes me think "what did he have for lunch?" 
-- makes me think of MY lunch 
-- makes me think of St. Alp's Teahouse (where I had lunch) 
-- makes me think of forgetting my umbrella at St. Alp's Teahouse 
-- makes me think of how stupid my broken umbrella is 
-- makes me think of waiting in the rain for the bus 
-- makes me think of how waiting in the rain for the bus will make us sick 
-- makes me think of SARS 
-- makes me think of the SARS "holiday" where I had to eat at restaurants all the time 
-- makes me think again of the lunch I just had 
-- makes me think how that lunch was too big 
-- makes me think that I've got to stop eating big lunches, it's not helping "my figure" 
-- makes me think of the girls I notice across from me, who are really cute 
-- makes me think how they must think I'm a total goober 
[then I give a little throat clearing, possibly out of feeling like a goober] 
[guy in front of me moves for fear I'm gonna give him SARS] 
-- makes me think that guy is over-reacting, so I'd better take out my MP3 player and be real cool for these girls 
-- makes me think of the new CD I had just bought of Pete Yorn, and how I wish I could listen to it right now 
-- makes me think of how a few weeks ago I had written on this website "I don't like guy singers" 
-- makes me think of guy singers I DO like 
-- makes me think of Hank Williams, Sr. (who I like in the "he was probably a jerk, but they don't make 'em like that anymore" way) 
-- makes me think of Hank Williams, Jr. (who I can't say I like in any way)
-- makes me think of the song "All My Ex's Live In Texas" 
-- makes me wonder why in the WORLD I'm thinking of "All My Ex's Live In Texas"... 
[[RETURN TO TOP]]

So THAT, my friend, is how you go from a huge belch on a Hong Kong bus to the song "All My Ex's Live In Texas" in about 30 seconds....

22 June 2003

(cough)

Okay, I'm back. 

. . .

Have you ever been in this place, meteorologically speaking, where it starts to rain, and then it keeps doing that (raining) almost non-stop for about 10 days? I have. Because I've been in HK for the last 10 days. And it's been raining almost non-stop. For 10 days. Non-stop. 10. Days. Non. Stop.

It's weird how not seeing the sun for more than a few moments over a 10 day period can mess with your head. 

And I'm not sure that I have the words to express all the kazillion things that I've wanted to talk about here -- wow, I mean I've got STACKS of papers and notes of stuff from the last 2 months. I've got all this "post-SARS" stuff to talk about, all these funny adventures to tell you, quite a bunch of photos to put up -- but I have just been SO tired recently, and I can't explain that... Except I haven't gotten enough exercise, I think that's part of it. So maybe I'm just getting all lethargic and weak-minded because of that. 

OH, and for a weird reason I've had opportunities to eat ice cream like about 12 times in the last 3 weeks -- and I've taken advantage of all 12 opportunities. I've been making jokes about how much food I'm gonna eat when I get home (God willing) to visit in a few weeks -- "I'm gonna gain about 15 pounds!" I've said (with much hilarity intended) -- but in fact, unfortunately I've already GAINED those 15 pounds. 

(By the way, I saw my good friend Thomas last night for the first time in about 2 months, and he said, "Grenn, you don't look so fit?!?" -- and he said it as a question, which I suppose was better than saying it as a pronouncement... and I said, "Yeah, I know, it's horrible" -- and he just smiled his big smile, and pointed his finger at me, like a gun, and shook his head: "Grenn, Grenn, Grenn...")

So anyway, I just want to say, "I'm still here" and thanks for worrying about me everybody, but now that my schedule is lightening up a bit I'll try to squirt just a little bit of an update every few days and see if I can't get caught up with all the "Fantabulous Adventures Of Mistah Grenn In The Orient"... 

. . .

Johnny Bravo, when explaining his expertise in the ways of beef jerky:

"Some people look at jerky and say, 'Why?' ... I look at jerky and say, 'Hmmmm -- JERKY!'"

Just about sums it up...

6 June 2003

Call me a whiner -- it's not really going to bother me, seriously, it won't. So I'm a whiner, so what? 

But this teaching on Saturdays thing is killing me. I feel like I have ZERO time to get my harried life together, and all those things that are already precariously teetering on the edge of "out of control" are now firmly in the "Glenn has lost control of these things" folder. It's just weird how "not having that Saturday morning to catch up on things" is completely throwing my thing out of whack in a major -- as in "disturbing" -- way...

So don't expect me to e-mail you just yet, don't expect me to update this site too much, etc., etc., etc... Oh, I've got a MILLION things to post here, but you're just gonna have to wait. I just simply can NOT do it right now.

(No, seriously, I'm taking my "Mister Busy Life" prerogative for the next little bit here -- please forgive me for not being able to update and keep up with things. I'm just feeling so very tired and exhausted and "going-through-the-days-via-stumbling-around"... If that makes sense).

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