Lip Van Winker

Being almost totally immersed in a new culture is an amazing experience. I know that I miss a whole lot because I can't speak the language (yet), and I don't normally have anyone sitting next to me to explain it all to me (yet), but STILL... I feel like I get to see a side of Hong Kong life that 99.9% of Westerners in HK don't see. I mean, I can't be too broad with my generalizing, but even Westerners who LIVE here don't see it because they spend half their time at jobs where every other person is white (or at least went to school in the U.S. or England and knows firsthand all about Western culture), and/or they live in an area where lots of white people live, and/or they go to a lot of restaurants where white people go... you get the idea. But I don't have any of that -- I pretty much live just like a Chinese HK person lives, except that I can't speak Chinese...  (well, and maybe I go to Pizza Hut more than any Chinese person would)... (okay, and I don't wear flip-flops out in public)... (okay, and I don't know very much about soccer)... (okay -- actually my life here is not "Chinese" at all, I know that... but I do feel "totally immersed" in HK culture and it FEELS like I'm living this little American version of a Chinese life in HK, if you see what I mean).

Well, so my point (before I got off-track) was going to be that I miss a LOT of stuff in HK culture, but I feel like I catch a lot of stuff, too, because of my "up close" perspective... and I recently "discovered" a new one to me, so I thought I'd share it with you.

It's like this:

I have had occasion to meet all kinds of girls since I've been here in Hong Kong. 

(Uh, wait, let me interject a clarification here. Understand, when I say "girls" as in "I've met all kinds of girls" I mean "young women who are roughly aged 21 to 40." I clarify that for you since I'm a primary school teacher and you might think I mean literally "kids" -- but no, in THIS case I'm talking "girls" as in "young women who still look really young and vibrant and I'm not saying they're cute or anything like that, that's not part of the definition necessarily, but it's just that they are young and I can't bring myself to call them 'women' because that just makes them sound OLD and not hip or something, not that 'women' are by definition old and not hip, but for people my age there is a difference in using the word 'woman' vs calling a young female a 'girl' and I can't explain that difference exactly but basically it's that a 'girl' is my peer no matter WHAT age she is, but a 'woman' is somehow my senior" -- does that make ANY sense? I'm sure someone will somehow take offense at my saying all that but I sure don't mean it to be offensive -- although that might be like Jimmy The Greek saying he was giving athletes a compliment when he got fired)...

Okay, so anyway, back to what I was starting to say:

I have had occasion to meet all kinds of girls since I've been here in Hong Kong. Usually we have the normal types of conversations about "where do you work" and "where in HK do you live" and all that kind of stuff. Typically there are a few questions that I can almost guarantee they will ask me, and I list some of them here in no particular order:

    -- How long have you been in HK?
    -- How long will you stay?
    -- Do you like it here?
    -- Is it difficult for you to teach school?
    -- What do you think of HK students?
    -- Do you miss your family?  
    -- What do you think of Chinese food?
    -- Do you speak Cantonese?
    -- Do you have a girlfriend?

That last one is pretty common, though you MUST trust me that it seems to generally be asked STRICTLY for information, and NOT because they are thinking, "Because if you DON'T have a girlfriend I'm available!" -- it just doesn't work that way. No, and I think the "do you have a girlfriend" question sometimes euphemistically replaces the less-common question, "What do you think of HK girls?" -- usually only girls that I know pretty well ask me that one -- but again, they don't ask because there's any AGENDA behind it, they just seriously want to know what I think of HK girls (for some reason which I haven't yet figured out since there's no hidden agenda behind it). 

Well, anyway... (geez, it's like I can't stay on topic here tonight, sorry)... 

So anyway, when I first meet someone, in this case a girl, one of the questions that I have found is really useful for ME to ask THEM is, "What do you like doing?" It's a great question because this is a topic that is covered in all elementary school English classes, so even people who really don't speak English too well (relatively speaking) will at LEAST have an answer for THIS question.

But I've discovered that a lot of HK girls have a very interesting answer to this question, namely:

"I like sleeping..."

Usually they will say, and I'm almost QUOTING here, "Uh, well, I like shopping, and I like sleeping." I even met one girl who gave that answer, and then she added, "Yeah, I really like sleeping," and she kind of looked out the window of the bus -- all dreamy -- as if she was thinking, "Wow, I wish I was taking a nap right NOW!"

The first few times I heard that answer I sort of chuckled, and said, "Yeah, I know what you mean!" -- because I thought they were making a joke, see? But by about the third or fourth time a girl told me that (I've ONLY heard it from girls), I was beginning to see that they really were serious!

So I wanted to get to the bottom of this, and went straight to one of the girls that I'm closest to here in HK, and asked her if there was some "hidden meaning" behind the phrase, "I like sleeping." For instance, I thought, "Hmm, well, maybe in HK culture if you say you like sleeping it has the hidden meaning that you are a hard worker" or something, sort of like how in some cultures being FAT is totally desirable because it means you are rich, right?

So I was waiting for this really "deep" answer, something that was really going to give me some new insight into HK culture. 

But my friend's answer was, "No! No hidden meaning!"... And then she said, "I like sleeping, too!!"

Seriously, she just kept laughing and said, "It just means I'm tired! I work a lot and so when I have free time I like to go home and sleep! Don't you like sleeping?!?"

(Obviously my "hidden meaning" theory was shot down right then and there,)...

Now maybe one should EXPECT this type of answer in a society like HK, where everyone is so busy and always rushing about. But still I can't help but be struck by that answer every time I hear it. To my American ears it just sounds, I don't know -- a little too "confessional"... 

It's just too HONEST!

Like if a stranger asked you, "What do you like doing?" and you said, "Oh, wow, I'm glad you asked, because I just LOVE to drink beer!" or something like that. Or maybe, "I like popping the bubbles on bubble wrap!", or even something like, "Gee, I don't know, I guess I mostly just like laying around on the couch watching old reruns of Andy Griffith"... We'd be like, "Uh, okay, and you're acting proud of this because... ?!?" 

Or, it's sort of like if someone you just met asked you, "What do you like doing?" and you answered, "Oh, geez, well, I mainly just like collecting unemployment benefits, that's my main interest in life." Hey, maybe it's cool if you like doing it, but it's definitely not something you'd include in your answer to that question, ESPECIALLY coming from someone you just met... 

I mean, it's like, yeah, of course I like sleeping! In fact, it's one of a whole LIST of things I absolutely adore, including: breathing; drinking liquids; blinking my eyes; walking upright; and circulating my blood throughout my body (thereby nourishing myself at the cellular level). I mean, GEEZ, I love ALL those things. But if you ask me the question, "What do you like doing," I am NOT gonna say something like, "I enjoy many things, but I particularly like maintaining a steady internal body temperature of 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit"!!! 

Whatever, it just feels like it's a real difference between American culture and HK culture that all these girls would feel so natural giving that (undoubtedly honest) answer. Americans just wouldn't do it, even if it were true! I mean, one way isn't better than the other or anything, but it's just that the contrast is something that I've noticed. It's a tiny, mostly insignificant cultural difference, to be sure, but still it's something that makes me stop in my tracks every time. 

So now you know...

This article was first posted: 10 July 2002

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