Don't Drink The Water

Have you ever been to Mexico? Or South America in general? 

I do NOT want to disparage those places -- I've had life-changing experiences there -- but you know what they say about "don't drink the water" and all? Well, all I can say is that if there really is a Mr. Montezuma living in Latin America, then it seems clear that he really hates for us to drink his water -- and furthermore, he truly is VERY good at getting REVENGE on people who, DESPITE his dislike of the practice, still drink it. All it takes to prove this -- this proclivity of Mr. Montezuma to exact revenge on people who drink his water, I mean -- is for one to sample a salad with lettuce washed in the local tap water (Glenn's Travel Memory #142: Mexico, 1991), or maybe even just a coke from Burger King with ice made from tap water (Ecuador, 1988), to give just two real-life examples that I know of... (intimately)... 

Let's face it, if you go south -- WAY south -- don't drink the water. 

But I'm here to tell you, I don't think you should drink the water in Hong Kong, either...

Now, the government in HK says that the tap water here is totally potable and there should be NO PROBLEM drinking it at all. In fact, it seems like they have these big campaigns maybe a couple of times a year where they have posters and TV commercials saying how great it is, the water is clean, "Hey, you ought to drink it! It's FUN to drink the tap, la la la!!!" (cue adorable smiling children moving in slow-motion with Bolton-esque soundtrack)...

But the fact is that almost NO ONE that I know in HK seems to drink the tap water. I realize that all of my HK friends will probably berate me after reading this, "Oh, no! I always drink the water!" -- but I can tell you now I won't believe them until I actually see them do it with my own eyes. 

You see, it's been my experience that EVERYONE says they really do believe the water is okay to drink -- if you ask them they'll say, "Go for it!" But I suggest that THEN -- after they have assured you it's okay to drink it --  I suggest that THEN you walk to the sink, fill a glass with tap, and then offer it to your True Believer Friend. THEY WILL NOT DRINK IT. 

This has cracked me up for a long time, this disconnect between assuring me the water is okay while not actually drinking it themselves --  but I haven't always been "amused" by it, because it made me mad at first. 

I remember having my first conversation about this when I first got here. I was like, "Oh, yeah, I meant to ask you, is it okay to drink the tap water here?"

And the person was like, "Oh, yes!! The government does regular testing and the water ALWAYS comes out okay! Of course you can drink it."

But SOMETHING -- maybe it was some kind of "gastro-intestinal intuition" (is there any other kind of intuition?) -- but something made me not take that answer at face value alone. "Do YOU drink the water from the tap?" I asked. 

"Oh, NO! I never have."

(long pause)...

"Okay," I followed up, "so then why did you just now tell me the water is okay?"

"Because they test it, it's well-known that the water is okay. Hong Kong is very modern. You should drink it and not worry about it."

"But YOU never drink it?"

"Oh, heavens, NO!" they chuckled. "I always boil the water."

(another long pause)...

"So what you're saying," I persisted, "is that no one in HK drinks the tap water, everyone boils it."

"Yes, that's correct."

"So NO ONE drinks the tap water, but you are telling me to do it?!?"

"Of course you can drink it, what do you think? They test it often, it's perfectly okay."

"But I would be the ONLY person in HK who actually drinks it, if I follow what you are saying?!?!?"

"Ha ha! You so funny, Grenn!"

. . .

Okay, so whatever, I can laugh about all that now, it's funny. But the fact is that, as far as I can tell, it seems that people here usually don't drink the tap water (except as a last resort).  

So what do people do for drinking water, then?

Well, in most public places (restaurants or offices) they will serve either: 
        1) tea (where the water was boiled); 
        2) plain boiled warm water; 
        3) bottled water;
        4) or, they'll have one of those big water coolers with distilled water (think the "Culligan Man" but with a Chinese accent). 

At HOME, most people seem to have an "electric kettle" that they use to boil water for cooking or drinking. It's not something you put on the stove, it's its own appliance, sort of like a giant electric thermos, meaning you plug it in and it boils the water in about 15 minutes or so, and then keeps it warm as long as you leave it plugged up. I have one of these kettles myself, for instance, and mine holds about 3 liters at a time. 

But the point is, they DON'T drink the water straight from the tap...

. . .

Now, this all leads me to an interesting sideline, which involves the fact that I drink a lot of tea. You see, when I was in the States, there was a period when I was drinking soft drinks (meaning Coke or Pepsi) ALL the time. That wasn't good, obviously, so the last few years I had gotten into this thing where I didn't want to drink sodas, per se, and so I started drinking that Nestea stuff that they have now. It's pre-sweetened, yes, and it usually has a lemon flavoring added, too -- so it's not like I was switching to some kind of "health drink"... but I really enjoyed drinking THAT as opposed to carbonated stuff, it was somehow more smooth (less acidic) than those colas.

So when I moved to HK, and realized (the HARD WAY, mind you) that I was not going to be drinking a whole lot of water, I was pretty thrilled to see that this Nestea stuff -- the same thing I drank in the States -- was available everywhere here. 

Okay, so I drink it pretty regularly for lunch, and especially at school it's very convenient for me to stop at the "Circle K" (a "convenient" store, like 7-11 or Thornton's) and grab a 1.5 liter bottle of the stuff and it lasts me for a few days. 

But here's the part that I want to tell. Everyone at the school seems to think that I am nuts for drinking this stuff -- and they don't mind telling me every single chance they get. 

Now, remember, this is the stinking LAND of tea! They may not have invented it, I'm not sure, seems like I remember reading somewhere it came from India first... but whatever, either way, I don't think I'm stretching it to say that the one drink that is TOTALLY associated with Chinese culture is TEA -- right?!?

And HK people drink tea EVERY SINGLE DAY. I practically DARE you to find a Chinese person in HK who doesn't drink tea every day. I DARE you!! Especially if they eat at a restaurant at all... I mean, some of the teachers at school can not be found without a huge glass of tea in their hand -- they carry it around like it's their security blanket or something. They drink tea like we Americans drink stupid Coke -- ALWAYS... 

Furthermore, this Nestea drink, the tea I'm talking about, is EVERYWHERE in HK. You almost cannot go into a 7-11 or similar shop and miss this stuff. In fact, this morning I even noticed that the soft drink machine at school uses 5 of it's 30 slots for this Nestea tea -- that's literally more slots than they use for original Coca-Cola, and it's a COKE MACHINE!!! Who do you think is drinking all this Nestea? It ain't fat, bald, white guys who are making it so popular, I can tell you that...

So what, in the name of Earth and Heaven, gives the other teachers the right to act like I'm doing something "wrong" to drink this tea?!? 

I know what they are getting at, don't worry. It's because this stuff -- this Nestea drink -- comes in a bottle and is pre-sweetened and all, and they think it's "unhealthy" for a fat guy like me to be drinking it. And it is entirely true that while most HK people drink lots of tea, it is usually unsweetened tea. Okay, fine, there is a difference. This Nestea stuff is more of a "tea drink" than plain old tea, no argument there. But for people who drink tea every freakin' day to make some snide, condescending, judgmental, off-handed remark about, "Oh, Glenn, that bottle of tea is so big!" or "Glenn, are you drinking that tea again today?" or "Wow, Glenn, some more tea, eh?!?" -- it's enough to make a missionary get "heretical" on you (I think that's the missionary equivalent of "going postal")... 

But let me tell you what it's like. It's like having Colonel Sanders shake his head in shame that you are eating so much chicken. It's like having Ronald McDonald say, "Tsk, tsk, tsk!" because he catches you eating french fries. It's like having Henry Ford pick a fight with you because "You're doing all this driving -- get out and WALK for a change!"

So if you come to Hong Kong, be careful what you drink. And ignore the saying that goes, "When in Rome..." 

Because here, the "Romans" will kick your butt for copying them...  ; )

This article was first posted: 18 December 2002

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