Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Even if you know me pretty well you probably don't know that I can be a pack-rat. 

Basically, I keep stuff. 

For as long as I can remember I've kept things I really didn't need (especially magazines and books) in some really strange belief that "someday I'm gonna need to refer back to that article about that piece of totally obscure recording equipment." Even as a kid, I used to keep all KINDS of useless things -- the boxes that watches came in, refrigerator magnets that I got from the State Fair, all kinds of bumper stickers (this was before I even HAD any bumpers upon which to stick)... I even remember keeping the little plastic loop things that they used to use to hang up socks in the store -- do you know what I'm talking about? It's like if you buy a pair of socks, especially dress socks, they use this big, black plastic paper-clip looking thing that clips onto the socks and then it has a little loop thing that hooks over the metal rack to hang the socks up on. Well, as crazy as it sounds, and I can't believe I'm admitting this to the whole world, but I used to keep those little black hook things. I think I thought that they might come in handy as "ray guns" or "flame throwers" or some other really cool weapons... (I don't mean like MacGyver or the A-Team, as if I really thought I could make an ACTUAL weapon out of it -- "Hey, Hannibal! Gimme some tape, a hair dryer, and some peanut butter and I'm gonna blow our way OUTTA this joint!" -- No, it was just for PRETEND mayhem that I anticipated possibly needing a sock hook gun)...

"I pity the poor fool who makes me use this sock hook magnum on their butt." 

Well, but so, you get the idea: I keep stuff. Always have.

But one thing I have NOT been able to keep, despite a very healthy and rather saintly prayer commitment regarding the issue, is my HAIR -- meaning the hair on the top of my head.

I'm losing my hair. Some people have asked me if I've lost weight since I've been in Hong Kong, and I sometimes tell them, "Yes, about 4 pounds -- of my stupid hair." I hate to even talk about it, and I pray you'll discern that I'm simply trying to make it sound funny in the hopes that it will somehow distract you from the hot little tear coursing down my cheek, just like that Indian in the old "Keep America Beautiful" anti-pollution commercials... NO, really... I'm seriously asking you to not take this as a sign that it's okay to talk to me about this subject, because it's NOT -- I mean, I'm not THAT vain; but geez, so I'm losing my hair, why do you have to bring it up?!? Just let it go, will ya?!?!?

(I'm being DEAD serious about this, just so you know).

Okay... 

But ironically, having said all that, and having brought attention to the fact that I'm losing my hair, I now want to tell you that is NOT what this article is about! It's just that I figured seeing the title "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow" might cause some of you who know me to automatically assume I was going to talk about that, so I just wanted to say, "Yes, it's true, but that's NOT what this particular article is meant to discuss."

No, in fact I want to talk about another HK hair fact that has caused me considerable thought. Now, like most of the things I talk about it involves me making a ridiculously broad generalization that is totally unrealistic and will have you thinking all kinds of false things about HK culture. But I've resigned myself to such hyperbole, and feel relatively comfortable exploiting such exaggerations in the interest of either "cultural understanding" or "earthy humor" -- whichever categorization makes you find me the less obnoxious.

Anyway, the hair fact which has perplexed and vexed my mind so is this:

Hong Kong girls completely change their hairstyle every 3 months.

I don't mean like, "Oh, Ms. Chang, I see you've gotten another 1/2 millimeter cut off the length of your hair." I mean it's more like, "Who is that person sitting in Ms. Chang's desk? What?!? THAT is Ms. Chang?!??!"

Dude, it's that dramatic...

I would never have imagined that outside of "supermodel" circles there would be a population of women who are so intent on completely looking like a totally different person every few months. But hang around certain groups of young HK women long enough and you will see at least a certain percentage of them go through a series of hair style transformations no less dramatic than Madonna's image trajectory from "Like A Virgin" to "Papa Don't Preach" to "Vogue" to "Ray of Light" -- and everything in between. 

(Wait a minute -- did "Papa Don't Preach" come first, or "Vogue"? I guess I'm glad I don't actually know that...)

Anyway, I've seen girls have long, flowing hair on Friday only to come in on Monday with a bob. I've seen girls with red hair that they wear up in a bun suddenly appear with black hair that they wear in a ponytail. My friend Heidi (husband: Teddy (the policeman), kids: Sam (boy) and Charlie (girl) -- they are some of my favorite people) -- anyway, Heidi had a kind of "Buster Brown" haircut when I first met her, but at the beginning of May she got this short, spiked cut, I'm not sure how to describe it but to tell the truth it sort of looks like David Duchovny's hair. That may sound like I'm making a joke, but I'm definitely not -- Heidi is a mighty handsome woman, trust me, and this haircut, the "Duchovny Do" I'll call it, looks AWESOME! But just to make my point, a week or two ago it suddenly went from "dark brown/red" to "jet black." It remains one of the most rocking haircuts I've ever seen on a HK woman; but still, the fact that she changed colors so drastically just further illustrates what I'm talking about. And I could tell you about a whole LIST of much more "shocking" hair transformations that I've witnessed this past year.

So, it's like, it just gives me the idea that HK women like to change their look, and it just seems they are maybe a little more "free" in making really dramatic changes than American women are. I can't imagine a HK woman asking her husband, "Do you notice anything different about me?" -- NO, in HK it would be more likely that he would ask her, "Uh, do I know you?!?"

So whatever, I find that interesting. That's all...

This article was first posted: 18 July 2002

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