What's The Rush? (Part 1)

Hong Kong is one of those cities -- like New York, maybe, or Tokyo -- that's famous for it's speed. 

If you read books about modern Hong Kong, one of the things you will undoubtedly read, over and over, is how fast-paced the life in Hong Kong is. Everything moves at the speed of money, and we all know that business waits for no one. It's "speed up or get out of the way"... or so the story goes.

So imagine how surprised I've been to discover, after a while of living in HK, that the pace of life doesn't really seem all that fast to me. 

Now, this may be a bit of culture shock shining through, so I apologize if anyone gets the wrong idea. No culture is "better" than any other, and just because they do things a certain way here in Hong Kong doesn't mean that it's wrong, or right, or ANYTHING. So please don't think I'm being in any way judgmental or anything like that at ALL -- I certainly don't intend to be. But I've just got to share some of these observations about "the pace of life in Hong Kong" in the hope that it will be: 1) helpful to someone getting ready to visit or move to HK; and, 2) cathartic for me.

On the surface, all the hype is true. People walk very fast in Hong Kong. If you stand on a street and watch, you will have the impression that everyone is rushed to get to their next power lunch, or "power tea" or whatever. People run to catch busses, they might fight over taxis, they will push you out of the way -- really! -- if you are blocking them or if they are trying to smash into a sardine can (er, I mean "subway car") that is already full. They can't wait!! Go, go, go!!

All that's fine, that's just the way they do it here. But here's the thing -- I'm not convinced everyone is really in all that big of a hurry...

Take this one example:
One of the very important things about life in HK is riding escalators. If you enter any MTR stations (MTR = the HK subway trains) you will definitely ride an escalator, either going down or coming back out. The escalator culture in HK is "stand still on the right, but walk on the left" (it's the opposite in Japan, by the way). But in other words, if you are the type that gets on the escalator and just stands there (letting the gears and motors carry you - "all princely like" - to the top), then you are to stand to the right. But if you are a HK person with a "power something" coming up in 5 minutes, then you can walk up the left side of the escalator, thereby increasing your climbing speed, if you catch my drift. 

Okay, nothing wrong with that. At least I didn't think so at first. 

But months later, now, I fear I'm developing a slight "attitude problem" about this, and I hope you'll think it's as funny as I do. I'm sorry to admit it, but sometimes it absolutely makes me crazy-mad when someone passes me on the escalator. I mean, I wish I could say that "I can prayerfully relate in peace to everyone I encounter" (cue sound of angels singing) -- but geez, it just really bothers me to see some "Speedy Gonzalez" guy skipping up the escalator, moving in and out of the people standing there, like it's the Indy 500. It's like I can just hear him saying, "Okay, people, move! I've got some really important things happening here!" I'm just like, "Dude, what makes you think your thing is more urgent than the rest of us?!?"

Alright... "What's the big deal? The guy's in a hurry, that's all." But you've got to understand the complete picture...

For one thing, you can never -- I mean NEVER -- just push your way all the way up the escalator. There is always at least one spot past which Speed Racer -- as I'll call him -- can't go. You can imagine what I mean -- it's the spot where two grandmothers are both standing on the same step, or where some guy has 400 pounds of beans and computer parts on a dolly blocking the way. So basically Mr. Speed Racer is running and pushing and passing his way up the moving stairs, only to have to stop about 3 steps in front of me anyway. I'm like, "Yo, what's the point?!?!? You are exactly 3 human steps in front of me, was it really worth the expenditure of that energy to get there?!?" It just seems so stupid.

But that's not really the part that irks me. 

The part that irks me (and I'm trying to laugh at this) is how this guy will push and run and jump and weave and pass and do everything he can to get as far ahead on the escalator as possible, but then at the top, when the escalator ends -- HE WILL STOP!!

Let me say this again, to make sure you understand. At the end of the escalator, at the place where you have to "watch your step, please" and get off the escalator and back onto the floor -- at this exact spot, upon setting foot on the solid floor, they will STOP and STAND STILL!!!

I can not possibly express to you the exasperation I feel when,  just 10 seconds after being PUSHED by some Speed Racer intent on being the First Place winner of the "Escalator 500," I find myself blocked from exiting the said escalator by this same guy who is now standing there lighting a cigarette! I'm serious -- they stand there, feet asunder (in a sort of "I've conquered that feat!" pose), casually looking around, obviously thinking, "Okay, now, let's see... Where was I going??"!!

Meanwhile, I and the 273 other people-per-second who are being whisked at great speed up the escalator behind them are suddenly piling up like, I don't know... well, like chumps... It's like, I always think of that old episode of "I Love Lucy" where she's working on the assembly line at that candy factory -- you remember the one? She and Ethel are packing candy, but the conveyor belt starts speeding up, and eventually the candy's coming so fast they can't pack it all, and she starts eating it (ha ha), but still it's coming faster and faster (ha ha), and it all just starts piling up and spilling off the belt in a big, hilarity-soaked, laugh-inducing mess. 

Well, that's what it's like at the top of the escalator...  Except, nobody's laughing -- we're all grumbling under our breath at this guy who couldn't wait to get to the top so he could THEN stop and decide where exactly it was he was hurrying to. 

So, all I'm saying is, "Don't believe the hype." Life in HK isn't necessarily all that fast.

Well, unless you're not sure where you're going...

This article was first posted: 17 March 2002

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