What's The Rush? (Part 2)

Now, this little rambling is "rated PG" because I don't want anyone to accidentally get offended. This is not exactly a "high-minded" topic, I'm warning you, so please don't feel compelled to read it. Specifically, if you are sensitive to the mention and discussion of bathroom etiquette, then let me spare your delicate mind and ask you to please read no further.

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I'm giving you a chance to not read further, alright? This is about real-life stuff, so I'm not ashamed to talk about it; but it's NOT the kind of thing you would normally talk about at your Sunday afternoon ice cream social, okay? So again, if discussions of bathroom etiquette and other related things upset you, please do not read further... 

I'm being serious, PLEASE don't go on if it will offend you...

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Okay? Still with me? Then let's continue...

. . .

I have a problem in my office, and I'm not quite sure how to handle it.

Most of the teachers at my school do not have their own office. What I mean is, certainly we all share the big staff room where I have a desk (alongside everyone else's) and that's where I keep my books and pens and paper clips and all that jazz. But I also have an office in our building, and it's precious to me.

Specifically, my office is located in the male faculty bathroom -- and it's the last stall on the left.

Now you may laugh at that, and think that I'm just making a little joke, but I honestly do consider that to be my office, of sorts. 

You see, in Hong Kong in general, but at our school in particular, it is almost impossible to find any privacy. Oh, I've found a few places at our school where I can be alone with my thoughts -- if you look hard enough you'll find those places everywhere. But none are as convenient and therefore as oft-visited as my "main" office, in the aforementioned bathroom, in the aforementioned stall. 

I go there to think, and yes, I've gone there to pray (a LOT, actually) and even to cry quite a few times, too -- making the transition to HK life, and to being a teacher, has been very, very difficult at times, and there have been days when I literally couldn't stop the tears... So off to my office I would go, with a towel in hand, to try and let it all out and regain my composure before heading back into the battlefield -- er, I mean "the classroom" or "the staff room" -- whatever the case may have been that day...

But my problem, as it has recently developed, is that there is someone else, another male staff member, I suppose, who has no qualms about leaving that third stall in a state of "horrible disarray" you might say. It's certainly not suitable for office space, I can tell you that. In fact, if I didn't assume "better" things from my colleagues, I would almost consider that this other party is dead-set on making that stall veritably uninhabitable for any purpose... 

Now, look -- I'm human. I know what happens, I know about the human digestive system, I know all about it. Okay? It's a part of being a living, breathing, eating, digesting animal -- which we all are. Praise Heaven for the weird beauty in that, right?

All that's fine. And if you have some problem that makes things, uh, "problematic"... well, "God bless you," you know? I mean, "I pray peace comes to you"... okay? (Or Pepto-Bismal)...

But in the meantime, CAN YOU AT LEAST FLUSH?!?!?

So, yeah, the thing is, this guy is in such a rush to finish and get out of there that he apparently can't flush... 

Now, again, you may consider this to be a very sophomoric or childish thing to discuss, but this is my office we're talking about, and I'm not joking (well, I am a little bit, DUH). But really, this is an important "space" for me.

Well, I've considered several options:
One option was to put a piece of paper across the bowl -- a small strip, okay? -- like what they use in hotels... So yeah, I was going to put this strip of paper across there and mark it, "Sanitized by Mr. Clean" -- I thought maybe that would seem simultaneously shocking and prohibitive, and maybe he would see it and go, "Oh, I guess I can't use this one." But that seemed sort of selfish, almost like I was trying to keep the whole thing for myself, and here I was just going to use it as a place to stand and think... It just didn't seem right.

Another thought was to post a sign, in English, of course, that said, "What's the rush? Make it flush!" -- kind of go for the "funny-but-instructive" thing... But would that be offensive? Would people be embarrassed by that? Because I don't want that to happen. For all I know, posting any sign like that would be some taboo acknowledgment of the human digestive system. HK culture, as I understand it, is very practical and accepting of the human condition, but maybe putting up a sign like that would be going too far...? Plus, because the sign would be in English, guess who put it there? (ME, obviously)... And it's kind of funny, but that would make ME feel embarrassed.

So I'm not sure what to do. But it's making it difficult to maintain any decorum in my office. And if this keeps up, then sooner rather than later I'm going to have to find a new place for thinkin'...

Well, so there you have it. I'm not sure why he can't just take an extra 1 second and pull down the lever. Maybe he'll read this, unknown to me, and he'll get the idea that the silver handle there is for HIM to pull, not to wait for the janitor to come in and pull it later that night. 

But whatever, I just wish he could slow down and not be so rushed to get out of there, you know?

. . .

Update, posted on 19 July 2002:

I just wanted to say that about two weeks after I wrote this, the janitor put up this sticker on the inside door to that stall:

In case you can't read it for some reason, it says, "Flush and wash hands after use" in both Chinese and English. I thought that was pretty funny -- I guess he got tired of it, too...

This article was first posted: 17 March 2002

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